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Why am I freaking out ALREADY? October 21, 2008

Posted by dreanotes in Personal.

Ok.  I’m starting to freak out here.

Most of you who know me have heard or are aware that I’m expecting my first child in April next year.  Yes, I know it’s a little late in life for my first, but hey – it took me a while to get warmed up to the idea!  😉

Anyway – back to the freaking out.

So, here I am, about 3 weeks into my 2nd trimester and I’m starting to freak out a little bit.  Not necessarily about the pregnancy itself (although the thought of giving birth REALLY freaks me out, so I’m ignoring that part!) but about all the “stuff” that goes along with the pregnancy!  Now, my first trimester was not bad – I didn’t get sick and other than constantly being exhausted, it wasn’t horrible.  And, I only gained 5 pounds in my 1st trimester, ALL of which, by the way, I lost 2 weeks ago when I had the stomach flu!  So, icky on the flu part, yeah on the getting to start over with the weight gain part!  😉  So, those are ok and that’s not where I’m freaking out.

I’m freaking out on all the “silly” stuff.   Things going through my mind are this:

  • Names – OMG!  What name?  What’s a good name?  What’s something “different” but not too “different”?   What’s a good nickname for the name I pick? (it’s a girl, so to me, this is even harder)
  • The room – I have a spare bedroom identified as the baby’s room, but then come the other things like What kind of crib (convertible vs. standard – cheaper vs. expensive)?  What colors?  What theme?  What furniture?  When to paint?  When to buy the stuff?  WHERE to buy all the stuff?  There is a surprising LACK of baby stores around me!  Target has little to nothing – Babies ‘R Us is overwhelming and the one specialty store I saw would cost me a small fortune to put together a room!  Geez!
  • Mommy stuff – How long do I take off work?  How much will be paid?  Where do I send her for daycare?  Disposable or cloth diapers? (believe it or not – that IS a valid question for me, being the “green” one)

And much, much more!  I know I have to temper this somewhat, and I know that “it will all work itself out” and all that fun crap!  But geez!  Like I need this kind of stress right now!!  And the other part of the problem is that my close friends have had kids (multiples), but several years ago and are “old hats” at this so they can’t necessarily relate – it’s all no big deal to them now!  So, no commiserating!  No one to share my pain (my husband is so laid back on this it’s almost pathetic!!)  It’s driving me crazy!!!!!  AAAAARRRRGGGHHH

Ok – thank you for the venting!  I feel a little better now!  Still no answers to my many, many questions, but at least it’s off my chest now.  Sometimes just being able to talk about it can help!  (yeah…right!!!!)



1. Luis Benitez - October 22, 2008

I did NOT know!! WTF … Why was I NOT told about this? Maybe you don’t like me 😦

So first order of business, CONGRATULATIONS!

Second, don’t worry too much.. soon all the pieces will start falling into place. As a recent dad myself, I didn’t want all the stress. So we took on 1 challenge at a time. Deciding on the baby’s first name took about 1 week. We didn’t decide on the middle name (we didn’t whether to give him one or not) until the day when we had to register him with the goverment 🙂

Then we took on the baby room.. We paid several visits to USA Baby (this was annoying to me but I wanted to support my wife) and decided on a theme for the baby room. We registered there and thankfully friends and family bought most of the stuff for us!

Re: mommy stuff… I would wait until after the baby is born… My wife swore she was going to work after her maternity leave (2 months) but decided to become a stay at home mom after falling in love with the baby :).

Hope this helps! Congrats again!

2. Tamara Conder - October 22, 2008

Andrea–I’d be happy to talk to you, as someone who not that long ago had children (6 year old twins and an almost 4 year old).

My biggest advice on baby names is DON’T involve anyone other than your husband and yourself–too much advice can be overwhelming, and as soon as you ask someone’s opinion, they think they get a vote on naming your offspring 🙂 My husband and I never did manage to agree on two names, so we compromised by each naming one of the twins. For the third child, we each made a list and vetoed each other’s names until we found one we could agree on.

IBM gives you 6 weeks paid time off, (8 if you have a c-section), but you can also get manager-discretionary paid time off. For the twins I ended up with 14 paid weeks off between saved vacation, IBM default STD (short-term disability) and the manager extra. You can also take up to 3 years unpaid time off as a leave of absence.

Here’s a helpful birth checklist at w3: http://w3-01.ibm.com/hr/hrinfo/life.nsf/3af7af3edcbd65e485256509007ca75d/e66cbf083490b202852563660053318b

This may be too personal, but if you’re considering breastfeeding, IBM has subscribed to an excellent lactation program, through Lifeworks, that includes a fantastic discount on a pump.

I used an in-home nanny (not a live in) for the first 4 years, and loved the flexibility that gave me for seeing my babies but still being able to focus on work, and also needed that flexibility for the unfortunate times when my husband and I both had to travel.

Some excellent resources (books) include Baby411 and Baby Bargains, both by Denise Fields.

I’m on a Leave of Absence from IBM right now, but feel free to look up my cell phone in BluePages and give me a call if you want to talk. I remember freaking out, too. (but then, sometimes it’s just fun to have something big to freak out about, no?)

3. Rick VG - October 29, 2008


Better late than never, right?

May you have a blessed pregnancy.

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